Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Tale of Two Christmases

Well, it's that time of year again. The Yule Tide. Time for shopping. Time for joy. Time for spending with loved ones. Oh, yeah... and time to argue about how to celebrate Christmas. No, really... here in America, at least, the press actually dedicates airtime and columns of print to people who like to whine that Christmas "isn't properly celebrated."

Um... since when is there a proper way to celebrate Christmas?

The devoutly religious (well, the Christians, anyway) claim that Christmas is a dedicated holiday reserved for those who celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. Because, you know, Christ is the first part of Christmas (being an evolution of "Christ's Mass" and all). Never mind the evidence suggesting Jesus wasn't born in December.

The agnostic, atheist, and everyone else who doesn't want to kill those who celebrate Western celebrations claim that Christmas is about Santa Claus. You know, the fat guy who brings presents down your chimney, is loosely based on several things (including a Norse god), and just likes to laugh and be jolly. Never mind the fact that no one has ever honestly claimed Santa is real.

Let me pause... I am reminded of the infamous early South Park cartoon in which Jesus and Santa engage in a fight to the death, only to be stopped by figure skater Brian Boitano.

Anyhoo... so... what's the problem, exactly? Oh, yeah, Jesus versus Santa. No, wait. That isn't it. Oh, wait. Yes, it is.

Like, really? WHY is this a problem? Why can't devout Christians let everyone who wants to celebrate Santa instead of Jesus do so? And why can't the anti-religious types let Christians ignore Santa and just celebrate Jesus?  And why can't everyone who wants to celebrate both do so without some nit-picking asshole pointing out the contradiction? Any why can't everyone who wants to ignore both do so without being looked at funny?

Oh, wait. Because we're human.

Let me pause... I've bitched about this stuff before. Go read for yourself:
Actually, that wasn't a pause. I'm done. I had fully intended on making more sense, but now I don't feel like it. I'm gonna go celebrate Santa. I don't really give a crap what you're gonna do, but do try to enjoy it, whatever it is.



  1. I don't know what all the fuss is about frankly. I once had Jesus and Santa at the same Christmas dinner as a living Christmas tree two baubles, a present, two elves and a bottle of champagne. They all got on just fine.And you've seen the photographic evidence so you know it's true! For someone who doesn't even celebrate Christmas you sure like to go on about it. Hop on a plane now, you'll be here in time for Dinner but you have to dress as Santa, we all do.

  2. I don't know why. I don't make the rules.

    I am looking forward to my dad's Irish Coffees though.

  3. I would guess it's because some people just aren't happy unless they're grousing about something. There would be no point in trying to accommodate (which would be so not like me in the first place), because there is always, always something else. You know.

  4. And---to add to PattiKen's thought---some people aren't happy unless they're ruining everyone else's good time...and the media loves giving them a megaphone.

  5. i really think Christians should move Christmas to another month & celebrate it as a religious holiday--without glitter hallmark or presents, and leave the 'Holidays' to the shopping malls and santa.
    Until then, don't be afraid to say the 'Christmas' word without offending any jackasses, and have a freakin' merry one!

  6. I'm with Megan, I don't know why anyone does anything anymore. I wish the commercialization of Christmas would end because it is sad that so many people charge things with their credit cards, thinking they are getting a good deal, and then by the time they pay off the interest charges, they have paid over ten times the cost of the item if it bought while not on sale. Then whoever got the item uses it once and then it gets lost amongst all of the other piles of stuff that we now accumulate in the name of helping to keep our economy going.

    So I have thought that if I could make the rules for celebrating Christmas for any reason, the only thing that anyone should buy is food. If you celebrate it for Jesus then one must know that he would want everyone to feed the needy, and if one celebrates it for Santa then one look at his size, that he also would want food. So I say the one rule for Christmas or any Holiday is that one just buys food for everyone. What else can bring such joy and happiness to everyone. And if one feels the need to do some gift wrapping then wrap up the canned goods, that way if someone tries to shake it they will then get knocked in the head and never try that again.

    Now if I can only learn to follow this rule then I won't have to worry about getting rid of all this stuff (err I mean junk) in my house.

    So here's to wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

    God bless.