Saturday, September 18, 2010

Irrewind, 20100918: Poetry II

I should probably title this particular Irrewind, "Bad Poetry," for even though my first few efforts here haven't been altogether bad, most of the poems I've written since have been - even I'll agree - crap. There's always one or two lines that stick out, but that's not enough to make me happy (for consistently competent poetry, I'll have to direct you to Life at Willow Manor, The Alchemist's Pillow, and The Far Queue).

Anyway, here you go... as always, criticism is welcome and desired.

"Symphony"
There's a song between breaths
Lyrics, subtle
from respiratory winds... Read More

"A Mighty Wind"
Wind of change, unwanted
With her gale in the wrong direction
Wildflowers, once gently caressed... Read More

"Today"
remember when the conversation
turned from orange to violet
an end to ends, all over again... Read More

"The Snowbird"
Feathers of ice
falling from a dying bird
that I cannot see... Read More

"The Heartbroken of Narcissus"
Your buried past
above ground, once
when it all began... Read More

5 comments:

  1. I am really partial to "The Snowbird" and "The Heartbroken of Narcissus" I try to write stuff down, and the next thing I know I have someone wishing on a star that someone is wondering where it's at, all to find out that the alphabet truly does end in Z. Well unless you say it backwards, then it ends in A.

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  2. actually i rather enjoy it when you write poetry jeff...it shows a different side of you...and anyone can do it actually...i would say i am proof of that...smiles.

    dropped a 1800 word story over at my place today...would love your thoughts...

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  3. Interesting choice of word: "competent." To me, poetry is like smoke, shifting transparent one minute, opaque the next. Approachable, then daunting. Universal, then exclusive. All of which is to say, it's like cars. I don't know how poetry works, but I know what I like.

    I'm off to read your irrewinds to discover if I can see what you mean.

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  4. Cut the modest "crap" crap, Jeff. Like you I feel I have a lot to be modest about, but that doesn't me we have to flaunt it. I appreciate the mention and link to my blog. It's an honor for you to mention me next to willow (and I'll have to check out the Far Queue).

    I remember a couple of these poems, Snowbirds and, especially, the echo at the end of The Hearbroken of Narcissus, from when you first posted them. I liked them then and, revisiting them now, I like them again. But what do I know?

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  5. I so appreciate the way you use words. Whispering than barking, vague and cutting, warm then cold. It stretches the rules right over itself. -J

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