Monday, June 28, 2010

The Return of Fortune Cookies

Perhaps it's because I haven't been imbibing in Chinese food (or, more accurately, Japanese food) as often as I used to (I do miss my Fire Bowl delivery in Wilmington), or perhaps it's just because I've been ranting and raving about other irrelevant things, but I've not done fortune cookies in quite a while.

Probably both.

Anyway, I'm wasting time. Presenting: the return of the fortune cookie!
  • "Before you take revenge on an adulterer, dig two graves. They were with someone else, after all!" 
  • "Your heart does not get as confused as your head... probably because hearts can't think."
  • "An unexpected relationship will become permanent. Fucking tax auditors!"
  • "Judge not according to appearance. With the lights off, it all feels the same."
  • "An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes. An angry woman can make an angry man happy."
  • "Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals. As such, you will never meet them."
  • "You will live a long, happy life. Relatively speaking, you already have."
  • "True friends ask only for your time, not your money. Spouses ask for both."
  • "Confucius says: nothing. He's been dead for a while."
  • "Take note of fortunes. One of them will be the last one you ever read."


  1. #4 - I can't help it. I'm shallow. ;)

  2. Um #4... No. ;)

    #3 Can you keep nothing I have told you to yourself ;)!!

    #10 If you never hear from me again yours was the last fortune I ever read :). HAH!

  3. OK I have digested the moralizing - now where is my cookie?

  4. but what about my luck numbers...nd i have been slowly learning chinese through the one word lessons...oh well. lol. funny stuff jeff...

  5. You have a talent for these. Love for one to actually show up in someone's cookie.

  6. It seems to me that the fortunes in fortune cookies used to be much better than they are now. I like yours.

  7. And then, of course, there are the cookies that are empty....

  8. They are all irreverent and pleasingly tasty!

  9. ok...i think it's chinese food for lunch this week!

  10. I've never gotten fortunes as nice as any of these...Did any turn out right, other than the tax auditors???