Anyway, I'm wasting time. Presenting: the return of the fortune cookie!
- "Before you take revenge on an adulterer, dig two graves. They were with someone else, after all!"
- "Your heart does not get as confused as your head... probably because hearts can't think."
- "An unexpected relationship will become permanent. Fucking tax auditors!"
- "Judge not according to appearance. With the lights off, it all feels the same."
- "An angry man opens his mouth and shuts his eyes. An angry woman can make an angry man happy."
- "Generosity and perfection are your everlasting goals. As such, you will never meet them."
- "You will live a long, happy life. Relatively speaking, you already have."
- "True friends ask only for your time, not your money. Spouses ask for both."
- "Confucius says: nothing. He's been dead for a while."
- "Take note of fortunes. One of them will be the last one you ever read."