Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Unaccomplishments: April 7, 2010

You ever have one of those days that you actually get a lot of what you needed to get done done? You know... days in which asking a question that ends with the same word repeated somehow makes sense in your head? Or... a rampant use of ellipses seems cool for some reason? Yeah... ?

In other words... well, no. Let me back up. I don't even want to present a question. I merely want to present a statement: I'm exhausted. I don't know why. I took care of a banking matter today. I took care of a Veterans Administration matter today. I'm taking my dog to the vet (as in veterinarian, in case you were wondering if my dog is a former soldier) tomorrow to finally rid him of those nasty tape worms he carried with him from North Carolina. I'm also beginning many sentences with "I" and "I'm." I don't know why. I just am.

Oh, yeah... (look at that ellipses!) I'm exhausted. I guess I didn't sleep well last night. Somehow I passed out on my niece's bed at 4 in the morning or so. I think I was writing something. I know I was conversing with a friend in Australia (time differences suck). Oh, yeah... oh, yeah... I was definitely typing something. Something about people who claim to want to be writers but refuse to write. It was going to be ready today, but it's not. Instead I'm rambling in a zombified and catatonic state. Speaking of cats... there's one trying to fall asleep on this keyboard. The bastard.

I just watched my nephew beat a racing cup in Mario Kart Wii. Not that you care. I don't even care. I just had nothing else cross my mind at the moment just prior to typing that.

Ah, where would the world be without Nintendo? Anybody else think that Nintendo prevented the Cold War? A decade of Atari's lack of rapid technological advancement made better by a little-known Japanese import accompanied by a zapper gun, foot pad, retarded robot, and creepy mushrooms attacking Italian plumbers.

Come to think of it... that kind of sounds like the Cold War, doesn't it?

Anyway, one thing I forgot to do (well, I didn't forget... I procrastinated in lieu of a nap) was to check on if I'm working in Las Vegas next week. I really need to do that tomorrow.

I should probably clean the litter box and clean up all the dog crap in my sister's backyard, too. But I'm sitting in a reclining love seat (alas, with no lover... unless you count Sagremor... one of my cats... who's not even female...) and have no desire to get up. Not even to use the bathroom. Now would be a good time for someone to invent a toilet/couch combination. And deliver it to my sister's house before I have an accident.

Then again... accidents can be liberating. A little humility goes a long way, no?

I have no idea why I wrote any of this. It wasn't to prevent insanity. I'm already insane.

Maybe I just wanted to share it. And my lack of accomplishment today (well, yesterday by this point).

Eat me.


  1. Your lack of accomplishment? You have just penned one of the finest poems of the twenty-first century. Las Vegas's gain will be world literatures loss.

  2. "Something about people who claim to want to be writers but refuse to write."

    What about people who claim to be teachers of writing but insist on writing crap (er, ah, one of the finest poems of the twenty-first century) just because they have an audience?

  3. You're a man in waiting. You need a diversion and not one of the tapeworm kind (talk to me about medicating your dogs please!). Your circadian rhythms are all discombobulated and your mind is overactive. Thank you. I'll be sending my account forthwith. As John Lennon said, "Everybody has days like these" If you were here I'd squeeze you big time then bitch slap you to Tuesday. Bite me.

  4. You got something done, can't that be enough?

    And you and all your entourage descended upon your sister and her home? She should be sainted or knighted or mentally examined... or something.

  5. break free now, or you will be gulped down into the neverending slump of lethargy.

    join us join us join us join us

  6. so, you awake yet? get up and do something...

  7. It's odd. After reading your posts, and then the comments on your posts, I frequently feel a little like I do after seeing a foreign film with subtitles. I think I've understood the plot, but I've got a nagging suspicion that there is also hidden plot that the subtitles don't reveal.

    But I'm pretty sure I don't believe in the black helicopters.

  8. Hmmm, I wonder why in the world you are so tired? Traveling cross country for weeks, staying with friends and family, keeping track of your three dogs and two cats and hiking 3-4 miles a few times day lately wouldn't make most people tired at all. What's wrong with you, Jeff? I mean really!

  9. Nintendo? I never made it past Atari 5200! What? I was never into electronic gaming ( unless it involved a digi-counter on a pinball machine, heh... ) And the only thing this ol' PC is good for is Spider Solitaire...

    And ditto on the latter part here, heh...