"Love thy neighbor" ain't gonna work - once you start loving his or her spouse a little too much, it's gonna start a fight. The United Nations ain't gonna work - but that's sort of what happens when the UN Security Council is comprised of sworn enemies. Family values ain't gonna work - they're subjective and, personally, I think most of them are pretty lame. Liberalism ain't gonna work - liberty is lopsided in favor of intelligent people. Conservatism ain't gonna work - the status quo tends to piss off people with more than half a brain.
So, how do we accomplish world peace? Well, I say by creating things that are fun to use and usefully fun.
Like what, you ask? Like these!
- Cigarettes with fluoride. Brush your teeth while destroying your lungs!
- Hustler and Penthouse versions of religious texts! Learn about all things holy while having orgasms!
- Bullets loaded with plant seeds! Kill someone and start a forest!
- Lawnmowers with leashes! Walk your dogs while cleaning up your yard!
- Cell phones with condom dispensers! Text me to sex me!
- Mattresses with toilets! Why get up to use the bathroom? Just go!
- Mop handles with knives! Commit murder and clean it right up!
- Newspaper toilet paper! Read about current events before cleaning your ass!
- Taxi cab/escort services! Get laid while you get where you're going!
- Enema-capable bidets! Don't just spray... rinse!