Friday, January 15, 2010

An Open Letter to Pat Robertson

Okay, I know that I've stated that Fridays would be a day off from posting things, but I'm having a hard time holding my tongue.

Dear Pat Robertson,

You are a fucking moron. I'm probably a fucking moron, myself, but you are clearly and without doubt a fucking moron. Just so you know, I'm agnostic. I don't know if God, gods, or ethereal flying spaghetti monsters exist, and to be honest, I don't even care. But you claim to believe in a One True God, a Loving God, and a God that masters all Creation.

Sir, with all due respect (translation: none at all), you're full of shit.

Because of the existence of voodoo, you claim that Haitians once made a deal with the Devil in order to secure their independence from France? Really? Or are you just a racist idiot who finds it hard to believe that a culture of blacks managed to oust a Caucasian world power (and a Christian one at that)? I'm betting that's what it is, because you, sir, are a douchebag.

Maybe our Founding Fathers made the same deal, eh? After all, we whooped the British. Oh, wait... the French helped. Hmm...

Some things for your dumb ass to sit on:

1) Even if some of those estimated 50,000 Haitian casualties practice voodoo, I'm willing to bet that not all of them did. Further, I'm willing to bet that many of them were tried and true Christians. You're really suggesting that your God, as omnipotent as he may be, would punish those for merely being in the proximity of descendants of those who supposedly made a deal with the Devil?
2) And who the fuck are you to claim that voodoo is "evil," anyway? Didn't you once say that Methodists were manifestations of the Antichrist? Where's the great Methodist earthquake of the southern United States?
3) Doesn't your Bible clearly state that, "The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father’s iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son’s iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself?" So why would your God punish "sons" over 200 years after the fact?

I'm no fan of Keith Olbermann, but he hit the nail on the head when he said, "... you are the Devil."

I hope St. Peter takes one look at you and points downward.


And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.


  1. The brand of smug counterfeit piety Robertson panders is pathetic and hateful and has so been for a long time. He would not even be worth your breath, Jeff, if it weren't for the harm his warped thinking causes.

  2. I think calling him a fucking moron is being generous.

  3. Now send me that money and i will guarantee you way to heaven, the dude is nothing but a con artist.

  4. Oh, come on, Jeff, you KNOW they exist! The ethereal flying spaghetti monsters hold our fragile, dry world together, what with their rich sauces, tasty cheeses...hmmmm spaghetti....oh! Sorry.

    And that's funny about the Methodists. I dunno. I would have guessed Baptists. :)

  5. I learned long ago not to heed the words of people with omniscient imaginary friends that tell them who to kill and hate.

  6. I was looking for your TT but saw this. I'd posted about it myself on my Women Of A Certain Age blog although I just touched on the most idiotic parts of his comments along w/ Rush Limbaugh's.

    My husband thinks "their brains react differently". In Robertson's case, he's so old I kinda chalk his impulsive idiocy up to senility although he's always been creepy. I mean, this from a guy who conned millions of people to build his sanctuary and business in Virginia Beach.

    Limbaugh knows what he's doing, inflaming the lefties, inciting the righties and just plain keeping his name in the news. Trouble is, people follow these guys and believe them. sigh.

  7. I think he has done more in that one day to push people away from his brand of Christianity than anything else. He is a waste of space, to say the least.

    Wonder how long it will be before he retires or dies. You know that others won't be very happy with what crap he is spewing now.

  8. That was very, VERY well written.

    People truly shock me at the ignorant, bigoted, and completely heartless things they can say. I cannot believe that there are some out there who actually put stock in those words.

    It's depressing, really.

  9. Thanks so much for your comment! I'm actually expanding it into a novella/short story so that's why it will remain a 'draft' until I have time to really delve into it. Just wanted to get something out there to get some critique before I waded through the waters of this emerging story. I really appreciate you reading it!

    I plan to read more of your blog later, at the moment I am computer-less until my new one comes in the mail and only have a little bit of time to spend at the library computer today :)

    Have a great day and happy blogging.

  10. ethereal flying spaghetti monsters.
    see, that’s where I draw the line of your complete and utter disrespect.
    the monster that I worship is not ethereal. It’s a plain monster
    have some respect, for FSM’s sake.

  11. ha ha...rightious! Hey Jeff, i believe there's someone or something out there, but have become very disinterested in the religious slant...who makes this stuff up?

    P.R...What a putz!

  12. As a Complete Fucking Moron I am seriously offended by your comparing that TOOL Pat Robertson to me!!!!

  13. I think someone needs to superglue earbuds in Pat Robertson's ears and drown him in "I'm Not Jesus" -Apocalyptica for the next 365 years.

    Just sayin'...

  14. Sometimes, I just want to scream at the top of my lungs.

    (Translation: Agreed. Well done.)

  15. Send it . . go on . .send it! Get it published. I'm an athiest so have no time for right wing Christian dogma that's so skewed it's out of this world. Sometimes I wish there was an interventionist God to show these moronic infidels a thing or two. Then an interventionist God wouldn't have caused so much damage to Haiti. He's a twat, full of shit and none of the giggles.

  16. I was reading your post aloud to my hubs and he wants to know what sin we committed to get a Pat Robertson? ;-> Well done!

  17. ABSOLUTELY! He hit the nail on the head! Pat Robinson has always been messed up the head..amen brother!

  18. Yes, it looks like he "wicked upon himself" and made quite a mess. Tissues Mr. Robinson?

  19. I wish he could read this, you should send it.