Oh, shit. The phone is gone. How is anybody going to get a hold of me? Where did I put it? I was on it this morning... or was that last night? I can't go to work without my phone... all of my damned music is on that thing and I haven't had a Walkman or a discman for years. MP3 player? Yeah, right... what century is this? No, I don't have an iPod. I don't have an iAnything... too much money for not enough quality. Then again, anyone believes commercials these days. I suppose I better get a hold of what's-her-name. I can't even remember her name! She just shows up as "hot girl" on my contact list! I'm so screwed, my whole life is falling apart.
What about my email? Why, oh, why did I get rid of my computers? Blackberry lied to me! I never lost my desktop, even though all my "hip" and "cool" friends made fun of me for having it. I need my email! Worse, I pay my bills on my phone. I suppose I could just opt in for paper bills again... nope, can't do that... I need the Internet to turn on the option, but my web browser is my phone! Maybe I can call customer service... oh, snap. Never mind.
I suppose I'll just watch TV. Wait, can I? Wasn't my phone my remote control?
No, there's my remote. Good thing there's not an app for that.
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