Thursday, November 12, 2009

Phone Withdrawals

Oh, shit. The phone is gone. How is anybody going to get a hold of me? Where did I put it? I was on it this morning... or was that last night? I can't go to work without my phone... all of my damned music is on that thing and I haven't had a Walkman or a discman for years. MP3 player? Yeah, right... what century is this? No, I don't have an iPod. I don't have an iAnything... too much money for not enough quality. Then again, anyone believes commercials these days. I suppose I better get a hold of what's-her-name. I can't even remember her name! She just shows up as "hot girl" on my contact list! I'm so screwed, my whole life is falling apart.

What about my email? Why, oh, why did I get rid of my computers? Blackberry lied to me! I never lost my desktop, even though all my "hip" and "cool" friends made fun of me for having it. I need my email! Worse, I pay my bills on my phone. I suppose I could just opt in for paper bills again... nope, can't do that... I need the Internet to turn on the option, but my web browser is my phone! Maybe I can call customer service... oh, snap. Never mind.

I suppose I'll just watch TV. Wait, can I? Wasn't my phone my remote control?

No, there's my remote. Good thing there's not an app for that.

31 comments:

  1. Yep, I can do almost everything with my phone. I made some awesome cookies with it yesterday. I have free floating anxiety when I think I've lost it. And when I think I've lost my phone.

    ReplyDelete
  2. wait, i heard there was an ap for that...sounds like a nightmare; i can't even remember where i left my glasses or wallet half the time...i would need a backup phone so i could call my phone, but i probably would never be able to remember my phone #. Crap, good luck with that!

    ReplyDelete
  3. funny how what just a few years back was attached to our house has become something we can not do without in our every day walk about world.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Heh,heh, I guess there's such a thing as being too high tech! I have to keep my landline so I can call my cell when I can't find it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My only phone is a landline. Big thing, makes phone calls and nothing else. I never lose it. I don't dare depend on anything as much as some people depend on their phones.

    @Willow: Neat idea.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I want to know how the Fox puts that big thing in his back pocket! ha-ha!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I had this situation yesterday. I thought that I took my phone with me when I went into a store. Went to make a call and it wasn't there. Searched for hours. It was sitting back on my desk, from whence my journey commenced.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Our dependence on these new fangled phones is scary - they're just so friggin convenient.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ohhhhhh, this piece is so freakin' bad! lol. Walkman, seriously? Haha.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I would like to know who Hot Girl is...Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I feel like I've just stumbled upon my husband's secret blog!

    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ha! Willow and I are on the same wavelength here. I have just been reminded (by this post) WHY I keep a land-line. I need it to call my cellphone when I can't find the little sneaky thing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well...slave to the phone aren't ya??

    I still like my landmine AND stamps!

    ReplyDelete
  14. You been following me around?

    I hate when you have to borrow someone elses phone to call yourself so you can find your phone and then realize it's on mute and you are screwed.

    ReplyDelete
  15. OMG! So true! I don't even know anyones number anymore! I dropped my phone in the water and I was dead in the water!

    ReplyDelete
  16. @Betsy: You'd be amazed at what kinda things I can fit into other things, when I put my mind to it.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I am not that dependent on my phone... yet! But I really don't know many phone numbers any more, everyone is just a click away!

    ReplyDelete
  18. A wonderful post - one of the best I've read in ages. Can't fault it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I use my cell phone for text and taking pictures - very rarely for talking. We have called our cell phones from either other cell phones or from the landline to find the missing ones - only one more resident of our home needs to get a cell phone - and it's on his Christmas list!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Great post. My husband was given a blacberry for work and now they have a leash on him. It is scary our total dependance on phones/computers - paper bills but you need your computer to turn on the option, Catch-22!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thanks for reminding me why I can never get an iPhone. I lose everything!!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh, Jeff, you sweet talker, you. My 40th was 13 years ago!! Flattery will get you everywhere, my dear. I think I'll keep the Zhivago hat forever on my head.

    ReplyDelete
  23. well I am old...these new phones totally baffle me...I need instructions just to make a call...and if the dam thing rings and why does it vibrate? Well it scares the bejesus out of me...

    I really don't even like cordless. I am old!

    ReplyDelete
  24. i have 2 cell phones, 2 laptops and it kills me that i'm constantly that plugged in to work. damn clients expecting me to be accessable 24 hours a day

    ReplyDelete
  25. Interesting because my mobile (cell) is reallyasic. No camera, no internet. But I feel that sense of panic if my internet is down. Not just the lack of communication via blogs and email but all my photos are on Flickr, my diary, my contacts . . my son has an iPhone with everything on it and has just asked me to do a spreadsheet for his work schedule (he's a landscaper) because he want something papery to hold and know when he's due to visit his next client. My how the worm has turned! I really must write my phone numbers down though.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Jay Leno had a funny comment about the iPhone the other night saying there was a "new app...for the PHONE!"

    ReplyDelete
  27. This was very funny.So many stories, so little time. I only just got a cell phone for emergencies and conventions. Even trying to find my landline can be a problem as it's cordless. God bless the genius who came up with the beep so you can find it.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Ha. that is a very amusing take. how can we indeed live without our phones?! BTw, I very much enjoyed your funny comment on my blog. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. ha. i'm glad my phone is just a phone...

    (i ignore its camera-capacities)

    ReplyDelete

Irreview, Book Review: The Story of English in 100 Words

Along with geoscience, another academic interest that has taken hold in me as of late is anthropology and, more specifically, linguistics.  ...