Friday, August 21, 2009

Yeah, Well, Why Not?

On Drinking

So, apparently I need to lighten up (not to mention sober up). Why I've developed an addiction to cheap Merlot recently is beyond me... probably has something to do with not getting hangovers from it. I mean, shit, I quit smoking (not a single cigarette since July 18) so I should be allowed one vice before I have to give them all up, no?

And I've decided that beer sucks. Yeah, there are some microbrews that are good, but mass-marketed beer sucks. Tom Collins and Merlot only from now on. Oh, and some Spumante (funny story behind that one... tell it later).

On Writing and Editing

People out there are starting to realize I'm a dick when it comes to writing and editing. Well, sue me. I work as a professional reader and publish the occasional critical analysis. Hate to sound arrogant, but when I suggest something (or point something out), it's with good reason. If you're not in the game to be published, just ignore this. But if you are... get used to dickheads like me. We're always looking for reasons to throw your work away, you can believe that. Yet we so very much want to love what we're being paid to read.

And, no, I don't think I'm God's gift to writing... far from. My talent is well below those of many writers I've worked with or continue to work with (Michael, you reading this??? Get off your ass and submit some shit!). I'm just here to be a curmudgeon. I like being a curmudgeon.

On Hair

Most of you know by now that I cut my hair yesterday. Pictures of what went down are on the Internet, and despite the fact that that I despise photos of myself, I'm going to "lighten up" and send you to the blogger who decided to expose me. She's a hag, but here it is: Not For Jellyfish: He Who Refuses To Be Named's Shear Insanity.

I miss my hair. And even though there have been many, many reassurances to the contrary, I think my new hair looks like crap. Another reason why I prefer blunt to polite... can't ever tell when someone's being honest.

Ah, well...

On the Army

Seriously, I was bored. And, yes, I really do want to rejoin; necessity has little to do with it. Can't quite put my finger on it, but there's definitely a need for change combined with a sense of things left unfinished combined with proving to myself that I can still do it.

There are, that I can think of, only two reasons that I considered not going back... the first reason is my pets. The separation should be temporary, but I'll miss them dearly just the same. The second reason is more... obscure... and my close friends know what that's about. Hell, clever readers here can probably piece it together... I have been a bit obvious about it, I suppose. How unlike me.

Yeah, I'm weird. And I've never said I wasn't crazy.

More On Writing

To answer a surprisingly common question: Yes, I can continue to post stuff while I'm in the Army. If a few months pass without a post, I'm probably dead. Or in prison. But probably dead.

How's that for ending on a high note?



  1. I would have loved it just for the non-smoking part, but the rest was pure Jeff too, so how could I help but love it? Spumante rocks.

  2. Merlot is very mellowing. Go for the dryer stuff.

  3. Well that clears a few things up! I don't want to be published so be kind. The hair looked great, before and after . . still a bit long for the army init? And I'm glad you can still post while you're doing whatever it is you do. It depends here. If your in special forces for instance, you're incommunicado most of the time. General forces can access the internet no probs. So the question's not so surprising after all. I feel for you parting with the pets though.

    Oh and for the record. I prefer to be blunt. And honest.

  4. correct away...does not bother me...actually i appreciate it...grammar is not my strong suit...i usually have a reader, but not always.

    nice hair. and glad you can continue to post...enjoy your stories man.

  5. I think I prefer a spumante over much everything else. Never been a beer fan, at all.

    I often need the red pen from you, so keep it up. And you enjoy it, anyway.

    After seeing those pics, fuck yeah!!! That hair needed to GO! Great for the peeps who get it and great for your head to be free of it. You look younger even, with it gone.

    I was glad when you said you were mulling a return. I really think it will be good for you.

    And a bonus for us, if you keep posting. Always good to have a rant from Golden to read.

  6. I agree with Wings - yeah, that hair needed to go - you look much better with it short!

  7. I am a vodka collins man myself!

  8. How could you possibly think your new hair looks like crap? Did you see the pics? Your new hair looks fabulous.

  9. "An riddle wrapped up in an enigma" Who said that, probably Churchill he said most things. He must have been talking about you. But it all makes such fascinating reading. (... and you have my permission to correct whenever and whatever)

  10. There is nothing wrong with enjoying a glass or two of Merlot. Now the cheap Merlot is a different story but thats okay as long as you like it. I also had no idea you were such a cute guy. I personally think the short hair is much sexier but I am one of those girls that do not like hair on men longer than mine and it looks like you were almost there.