Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Shear Insanity: Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

As of this moment, I am scheduled to get my hair cut on Thursday at 3 PM, Eastern time. A pretty banal statement, I would admit, were the situation not an unusual one. You see (well, no, you can't see, and I'm not about to post a photo, so you won't be seeing, but now I'm getting beside myself), I haven't had a haircut in over two years. July of 2007, if my memory serves me right (it often serves me wrong, which is why I don't play tennis. ACK! Bad joke, I know).

So that's... two years and one month? Give or take. The last time a hair on my head fell to the ground for reasons other than natural. Wait... I was in a couple of fist-fights this year... I probably lost some hair in those engagements. Anyway...

Why the haircut? Well, the unthinkable is about to happen: I'm about to rejoin the United States Army.

Those of you who need to change their pants, feel free to do so. I'll put some Zeppelin on in the meantime. A little "intermezzo," if you would.

Yes, I'm about to rejoin the Army. For no less than three years, at that. Only this time I'll be getting paid a Hell of a lot more money. But I digress. It is for this reason that my extremely long hair has to go (it really is a bit long... I can reach my arm behind my back and grab the ends of it).

Now, those of you who might have happened to have served with me already know that I am notorious for being that soldier... "the one with the long hair." But what I have at this moment really is ridiculously long. I kinda like it... some women I know kinda like it (and some don't, but I won't mention those hags)... and my cats kinda like to mistake my head for a scratching post.

A little while ago I was, in all honestly, just going to shave my head bald as some sort of misguided rebellion, but I really had nothing to rebel against so I decided against it. An even shorter while ago I was, in all honestly, going to go in for a bit of a trim, but one of my hag friends berated me for not donating my hair to a cancer wig organization (or something like that), so I held off.

But now things are coming to a head (hah! A pun! I fucking hate puns), and it's time to prepare myself for a few years of regulation-short hair and to donate my shower companions to a good cause.

Yeah, I'm rambling. So what? I had some cranberry vodkas for lunch. Eat me.

Someone just remember to remind me to take before and after photos.

Pointless Musings

I finally saw Watchmen today. I quite liked it... a very good adaption of one of the greatest graphic novels (read: glorified comic books) of all time, if not the greatest. The actress who played Silk Spectre II was pretty horrible, and a lot of the nuance found in the comic was left out, but I thought it was pretty good... maybe even brilliant.

My friend J is getting sick of helping me throw out my trash (long story; don't ask).

I recently reread 2001: A Space Odyssey. Stanley Kubrick's film was visionary, sure, but the book blows it out of the sky. Score one for Arthur C. Clarke.

In case anyone hasn't noticed, I love the movie Stardust. Watch it if you haven't already. It's The Princess Bride for the 21st century. Yep, I just made a hefty claim.

I still need someone to take my German Shepherd and/or my two cats for a few months. Any volunteers?

Leaving sucks, but traveling is the best thing in the world. I love irony.


  1. I think it's sweet you are donating your hair.

  2. cool on the hair donation...returning to the military...dare ask what you are doing?...watchmen was ok, i thought it could have been better...i hope the leaving rolls quick and the travel is smooth...

  3. I can't believe you called me a hag.

  4. Remember to take before and after pics.

    There, happy?

    Watchmen has a long wait, plenty to see before it. Stardust may be next week, if I remember to record it. Remind me, why don't you?

    Good luck finding a place for the dog. As for the cats, leave 'em in the woods!

  5. It's about time you cut your hair. You let it crazy long.

  6. Why won't you post a picture?

    I loved Watchmen.

    I have not seen Stardust but you are not the first person to say something like that about it. I'll move it up the queque.

    Why are you rejoining the army?

  7. Stay safe. God for you. hope it goes well. Now, cutting one;s hair? Never!!! One main reason I could not have ever joined the military. I like my curls too much. :D

  8. Please send me a good picture of your "before" hair. I will miss it so!

  9. Brian: Not sure what my job will be. Won't know for certain until later this year. But I'm assuming it'll be something related to what I used to do.

    Megan: I've had "interesting" experiences with photos on the Internet. And I'm rejoining out of boredom, mostly.

  10. Wow got such a surprise that my computer froze! Can you still blog in the army. I've only just found you! I could never leave my dog.

  11. It's not a full military cut... yet, but it's cut! :)

  12. I like your haircut! I wish I had thick hair like that. It's nice that you donated it too.

    Also..I hope you don't find this creepy, or strange, or even offensive, but I took a nosy at your haircut pics...and I think you look exactly like Darren E. Burrows. Only, about 15 years ago! I used to be OBSESSED with this show called Northern Exposure back in the early 90's and had a crush on Ed and Darren E. Burrows played him, then I saw your pics and just though OMG! lol. Anyway! That's my creepy comment...for the moment.

    I have a friend in the army and I think he felt bored, so he never left, as he always said he was going to. I guess he just felt a little empty without it somehow.

  13. An errant click, and I find myself here. Army? Three years? What?