Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The Name's Bauer... Jack Bauer

24: Redemption premiered last night after quite a long period of hype by the folks at Fox. And, boy, did it suck terrorist balls.

Cliché after cliché after cliché, combined with Kiefer Sutherland's "man, I'm really tired of doing this" style of acting and rampant, pervasive product placement, all led to the worst incarnation of the 24 franchise... ever.

Seriously, I think I learned more about Hyundai, Sprint, and Cisco then I did about the heinous plot of an African warlord attempting to overthrow his government.

I also learned that the US Army still flies single-engine Hueys overseas. And that 14 children will inauspiciously fail to step on strategically placed bouncing land mines, but when one of those children loses something in said minefield and returns to retrieve it, the ex-special forces soldier escorting him will notice the mine, push the child out of the way, and equally inauspiciously wind up stepping on the very same mine.


But not as lame as the "payoff moment" when the same child who caused the landmine problem places his hand on Jack's shoulder.

I'm guessing "emotional connection" isn't taught in screenwriting classes anymore.

The franchise, it seems, is showing its wrinkles. To be fair, 24: Redemption was an unprecedented one-off, and the upcoming season itself looks very promising, but one thing is for sure: it's time for Kiefer to go. Jack Bauer needs to give way to new blood or just give way in general.

Whatever is done, just make sure Ricky Schroeder doesn't take the reins.

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