Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Irreverent Musings

Syllogism for the day: People suck. You are people. Therefore, you suck.

Instead of cutting its losses, NBC is going to "reboot" the "reimagined" Knight Rider. The cast is too big, they says. The plots are too big, they says. I says they should've used a fucking Firebird.

Monday night's episode of Heroes completely destroyed the show. As in: made every episode that came before it utterly pointless. So, Noah Bennet knew Syler's identity the entire time, eh? So, Claire's real mother was almost an agent and was present at the train wreck, eh? So, Nathan's powers emerged before the eclipse, eh? So, Syler and Elle were an "item," eh? So... ah, fuck it.

The World Series suffered its lowest television ratings ever... by more than 1.5 points. Quick solution: shorten the season and expand the fucking playoffs.

The NFL is considering an 18-game season. Bad idea. The relatively short season is why people enjoy it so much... it gives them something to wait for during the off-season. Take notes, MLB and NHL.

Advice for comic book publishers: origin stories for established mysterious characters are bad ideas. Yes, this is also advice for the writers of Heroes.

Latest crappy movie I tried to watch, but was unable to finish: Shoot 'Em Up. Surprising, too, since it starred Monica Bellucci, and until I tried to watch that piece of shit movie, I could've sworn I'd watch paint dry while strangers walked by and pissed on me, just so I could look at Monica Bellucci. I don't know if I should be relieved or distressed to know that this is not the case.

Joss Whedon is an overrated hack. Bite me. No pun intended.

Battlestar Galactica has devolved into self-congratulatory garbage. Just some words for the writers: you're not that good; your show isn't that good. If all the hype were true, you'd be on a real channel, and not one known for keeping the Stargate television franchise around, oh, 11-years too long. Funny... BSG isn't even going to make it to a fifth season. Yeah, you guys fucking rock, all right.

Fox, do us all a favor and just import the original Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares. Your version is utter trash, and has absolutely nothing to do with the restaurant industry, save for the fact that it's shot in restaurants. If I wanted to see garbage shot in a restaurant, I'll watch Michael shoot Sollozzo and McCluskey.

Please, Warner Brothers, cancel the Justice League movie and never speak a word about it again.

I will never watch NatGeo as long as it's called NatGeo. Nor will I drink SunnyD as long as it's called SunnyD. Fire those marketers... seriously.

It's time for bed.

3 comments:

  1. "If all the hype were true, you'd be on a real channel, and not one known for keeping the Stargate television franchise around, oh, 11-years too long."

    HAHAHAHA!

    Would someone please, for the love of god, put Stargate to bed. I stopped watching years ago. It suffers from what I've dubbed, the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Syndrome. You get a big bad bad guy. For a season or more you fight this big bad bad guy. Then you get an even bigger big bad bad guy, who first starts to kick the butts of the good guys but then the protaganists get some new super weapon that turns the tide of the war in their favor... Now rinse and repeat over and over and over again. Stargate has done this dozens of times now... Let it go.

    New rule for sci-fi shows. Plan out the general life of the show in advance so that it has a beginning, a middle, and an end where the storyline resolves (Babylon 5 was great at this). Stop beating money out of a dead horse for as long as you can.

    Posted by Introspective Prophesier on November 27, 2008 - Thursday - 11:26 PM

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I will never watch NatGeo as long as it's called NatGeo. Nor will I drink SunnyD as long as it's called SunnyD. Fire those marketers... seriously."


    I CONCUR!

    I stopped watching Heroes in S2, since all that show does is spin its storytelling wheels and never get anywhere.

    Posted by Geoffry on November 11, 2008 - Tuesday - 6:34 PM

    ReplyDelete
  3. All these events confirm what i was worried about the most:

    Global Warming and it's effects on the human mind. The heat is driving us mad. I'm moving to Alaska.

    Posted by Johnny O™ on November 11, 2008 - Tuesday - 12:12 PM

    ReplyDelete