Thursday, October 11, 2007

Off the Wagon... Again

I hate smoking. Seriously. I hate the occasional nicotine-tobacco-tar-induced headaches. I hate the smell it leaves on clothes and furniture. I hate the health risk. I hate the cost. I just hate smoking.

Which is probably why I started again last Monday.

Yeah, that didn't make any sense, and as I'm deliriously tired from an insane month, don't expect any sense from tonight's boredom-inspired writing.

Anyway... so I headed down to Atlanta last Sunday night in order to work on a television show. When I got there, I noticed that I was dangerously low on nicorette, my primary crutch when I attempt to quit. As I chewed my second-to-last piece, I did the respectable, sensible thing.

Yes, I went to the nearest store to buy more gum. No, wait... like a fucking moron, I bummed a cigarette off of my friend Brad. Why? I don't know. Because I'm a fucking moron.

Of course, I can always use the excuse "but all people on set smoke" (see: "but all soldiers smoke" for my military excuse), but the fact of the matter is I just felt like it. Maybe I just felt like it because I usually hate Atlanta (I loved it this time) and needed some edge off, but it's probably just because I'm a fucking moron.

Since Christmas Eve of 2005 I've been a non-smoker for a total of 17 months and even managed to ditch the nicorette during that time, but I can't seem to shake the relapses. Oddly enough, those relapses always seem to occur when I work a reality TV show.

Anyone have any suggestions (other than quit working reality TV shows)? Send them my way ASAP.

2 comments:

  1. Welcome back to the dark side(insert evil laugh here)!!! I'm kidding you. I seriously hate it for all the same reasons you do, yet I keep going back to the cancer sticks. When you figure out how to quit being a fucking moron (when it comes to the current subject, I don't think you're a fucking moron in general) let me know. *hugs* don't beat yourself up too much, you're not the only one in that situation!!

    Posted by **JEAN** on October 12, 2007 - Friday - 4:34 PM

    ReplyDelete
  2. Quit being a fucking moron.

    Posted by Jessica Lynn on October 12, 2007 - Friday - 7:37 AM

    ReplyDelete