Hmm... apparently, certain aspects in my life (aspects being people) are getting a little sloppy, so I need to tighten things up a bit. There is, quite dishearteningly, a popular rumor that is making its rounds through the circles I travel and hang out in. This particular rumor involves the subject (me) being involved in some sort of clandestine government operation or operations. This is not, I repeat, this is not the case.
I am not, have never been, nor (likely) ever will be involved with any intelligence or clandestine service, be it military, government, corporate, or private-oriented. Yes, there's the small matter of DP Investigations out of Dallas, TX, but that is a private investigations firm, and not an intelligence agency of any kind.
I am not in the CIA, DIA, NSA, FBI, Special Forces, SOF-D, MI-6, Mossad, Metsada, ISA (which doesn't even exist anymore... I don't know who brought that one up), or any other super-secret-squirrel spy organization.
My time in the military was spent solely as a Combat Engineer, and that's it. Anything else you've heard is complete and utter bullshit. I never finagled my way into anything "cool" (in the Hollywood sense of the word), and I never finagled my way out of anything crappy. I swept motor pools, cleaned toilets, blew up bridges, and jumped out of airplanes like the other 500 people that were assigned to my battalion.
So please quit calling and asking me questions, sending me emails, and offering to pay me to find someone and break his or her kneecaps. That's not me. You've got the wrong guy.
Those who know me best can tell you: I'm too fucking lazy to have done anything like that.
Have a nice day... and vote Clint Eastwood for President.
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